having the worst headache/nauseating/paranoiacally+ thinking a lot is T.T (but tyyy 鄭元暢 & 林依晨 for reliving it with your 麵包的滋味 duet!)
sometimes I think about the meaning of my 'home' / HK sometimes I think about that someday I'd end up on Mystery Diagnoses sometimes I think about death sometimes I think about all my imperfections & who else will accept them before they go away? sometimes I think about marriage & children sometimes I think about the story of Itazura na Kiss sometimes I think about fate & my future sometimes I think about someone I have liked for 2yr 1/2 already.. usually I think about all this at once when I am wasting my time in the day or night.
even though I am still living on memories & I don't feel like I've gain what I really wanted, but we only realize that in the end of some time.. and I know I can't just put everything down and movie even though I've done that so many times.. though I believe bettering is better than not doing anything, and I believe someday I can be able to feel like a real person in her own age living her own live & not wasting any minute, not even 1 second.
it's been very long since I've post here, but it seems even longer.
I was on the streets by myself after going to see Twilight & ate with friends, when times came where I wanted to faint so badly, but my body wouldn't let me. I wanted to faint so someone can hold me. I wanted to threw up blood, so someone can take care of me.
Feeling how Judy Garland felt-- "Why am I so lonely even with all many people?" maybe not in exactly worlds, but I know how she feels. Definitely.
and kind of